My First Holiday

Hello! I'm sure many of you out there wants to know how was my first holiday outing like!
Well, I really do not know where ibu & abah took me, but I can tell you that it was very far far far away! How do I know that? Well, I had to be in my baby car seat for a very long long long time! And I thought that going to Tampines every week is far enough!

I was excited at first, you know. Especially since ibu had brought ALL my toys along for me to play with, but after awhile.. *yaaawwwn* .. it got pretty boring..


I had time to check my nails. Boy! My nails are due for some trimming. IBU!!! WHy aren't you doing your job?!

I had time to fool around with ibu's sunglass. Hey! It WAS hot outside, oh kay!

And we still didn't reach the holiday place.. Worse still, I suddenly had a stomache and I really needed to berak. I know ibu told me before we left the house that I shouldn't berak in the car, but i really couldn't help it. And what's the big problem anyway? Why can't they just change my diaper in the car? I had to wail and and wail and wail...but they totally ignored me. Abah kept telling me, "Sabar Ryan, lagi 2 minit sampai.." Chet! Bedek lebih!

Don't ask why I had the bingit look when we finally reached the place and ibu finally cleaned me up.

Eleh...nak buat baik lah konon suma tuh... amik2 gambar lah... dukung sana sini lah... Too late ok! Just because I'm a baby doesnt mean that I like having shit in my pants.

It doesnt help that I can't walk and run yet like all the big boys and girls. Just look at that! Is abah trying to make ME feel jealous?!

And of course, he got to swim, while I could just watch. I am going to be 4 month old ok! Why can I swim?!!

I really think abah forgot that I am his ONLY child! Hmph!

Things were pretty boring for me back there.. Everyone else seemed to be having so much fun!

Abah tried to scare me with that ridiculous thing over his face. *yawn* Oh please abah! Don't be so lame!

Ibu told me that abah was going to war.. But it didn't make sense, why was he fighting his own family? It didn't make sense that when they got shot, they managed to get up and fight again. It didn't make sense to me. Does it make sense to you?

Why do adults think that just because we are small, we like to put on silly things on our head?? Like this elephant cap. It was just SO embarrasing!

And the party hat?? I looked like a clown! Don't be deceived by that smile.. to senyum terpaksa tau. I swear I wasn't having any fun. I didn't even get to eat the cake!

Finally it was time to go home.

Tido pun baik...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!

Botak Head

I was forced to wake up by abah when I took my usual afternoon nap today. Ingat nak go jalan-jalan bacause every time they interupt my sleep, it is because they want to bring me somewhere. So, sleepy as I was, I decided not to be cranky. Jalan-jalan kan best!

But oh oh.. I sensed something was not right when I saw abah in his tshirt and shorts, and ibu looking so selekeh. Heyyyyy... ni bukan nak go jalan-jalan ni! Especially scary when I saw some weird looking objects that made funny buzzing sounds in abah's hand. I sensed trouble!!

I clinged to ibu like my life depended on it. Hah! Dia pun sama jugak bersubahat dengan abah!
Dan rambut saya kena potong. Lagi sekali?! Hari tu kat Tampines kan dah potong ramai-ramai? Tak cukup ke?

Hmmm...leh tahan gak rambut saya macam ni. Ingat dah habis... Tapi.....

..dia sambung lagi! Somebody stop this man!!

Sampailah saya kelihatan seperti ini. Mula-mula sedih lah jugak.. macam nak nangis pun ada. Dah lah kena togel kepala saya, badan saya gatal-gatal kena rambut... geramnyer!!! Tapi, ibu kata orang botak pun kadangkala hansem jugak..macam Marcell. Alah, dia cakap terrer lah...bukan saya tak tau yang dia suka rambut belah pantat. Itu kata abah saya lah, bukan saya.

Tapi pikir-pikir, sedih pun tak guna kan...
So, botak pun botak lah..


Amcam?? Fierce tak muka saya sekarang?


Nak fight pe?? Ada macam Thai boxer tak?


Abislah orang ketawakan aku kat rumah Auntie Jihan besok!! Nasib..nasib..

enjek

hari ini saya, abah saya dan nyai membawa saya ke poliklinik untuk membuat suntikkan bulanan saya. ibu tidak dapat ikut kerana dia berkerja. rajin ibu saya macam boleh membuat abah menjadi "house-husband". anyway, saya tengah sedap2 tido tapi abah kejut pukul 9.20am. kacau daun je. saya sedang mimpi scarlett johansson tau! nyai mendokong saya di dalam kereta dan sama2 kita menuju ke poliklinik bukit batok.

sampai je, abah gi register nama saya dan kita pun naik lah ke tingkat dua bilik nombor 57. jururawat, yang tidak selawa ibu saya, pun mengambil ukurun kepala saya (42cm), ketinggian saya (63cm tapi abah dgn nyai cakap tak bleh jadi pasal saya lagi tinggi dari itu!) dan terakhir sekali berat badan saya (7.15kg).

nyai cakap saya dah semangat pasal budak2 kecik tak bleh panggil gemok. orang tua je boleh di panggil gemok! heeheehee...

ni gambar lama tapi
you get the idea!
saya ingatkan jururawat nak suntik saya tapi nasib baik dia cakap "go and see the doctor first and then come back here" apa makna dia pun saya tak tau. saya ikut je abah saya. selepas tu, abah dan nyai membawa saya pergi ke bilik lain. saya pun ajak lah mereka bebual pasal stock market yang sedang merusut tapi mereka asik cakap "goo goo gaa gaa". tak betul agaknye orang2 tua ni.

rupa2nya saya di bawa berjumpa dgn doktor dahulu. dia membuka baju saya dan say pun senyum. lega sikit dapat berlenging. angin... alih2 bende sejuk seperti piring di letakkan ke dada saya. ingatkan suntikkan berjarum besar. rupa2 nya bukan. lepas tu abah tutup balik baju saya dan kita pun keluar dari bilik itu.

alamak! masa nak suntik dah tiba. abah pulak hilang ntah kemana. saya dgn nyai je ni! takot boboy! saya nampak jururawat sediakan jarum. besau nye! "abah toloooong!" saya menjerit dalam hati. kalau menjerit betul2, nanti tak hero pulak. pada masa yang tepat, abah pun muncul! selamat!



confirm dia akan bawak lari saya keluar dari bilik itu tetapi saya di tipu. nyai sedang mendokong saya dan abah pegang saya lagi kuat. tolong! saya tak boleh bergerak! macamana nak cabot! jururawat apa lagi, dengan muka yang bengis menyuntik saya di peha kanan. saya tahan macho tapi tak lama. 3 saat je, saya nangis! adoi! sakit woi! tetapi saya nangis sekejap je. tak sampai 2 minit. lepas tu saya relek.

jururawat suruh tunggu di luar sekejap dan setelah 10 minit menunggu kami pun pulang. dengar2 lagi sebulan ada suntikkan lagi. harap2 lagi sebulan saya dah boleh berjalan dan berlari jadi saya boleh cabot!

Passport Photo

Abah was at home this morning, and he said that I should have my picture taken for this thing called a passport. I really do not know what that is, but abah explained to me that I will need it to go around the world. Whhheeeeeeeee!!! That sounds like a lot of fun!

He said that I should look really smart in my picture or else the all pretty ladies at the Immigration will laugh at me. I must:

a) Keep my hands by the side

b) Look straight into the camera

c) Chin up ( so that I will not have double chin!)

d) Smile a little (but not too much!)

Wow! That's a lot of things for me to remember! HELLOOOO abah!! Small kid = Equally small brain! How does he expect me to remember all those things?!

Forget about looking staright into the camera! I think my side profile is so much better! Don't you think it makes my nose look a little sharper?

OOOhhhhh.. this is getting to be real exciting! I wonder where abah & ibu will be bringing me?

Oh ok! Don't start getting too excited! I still have to get the correct pose for the passport. MAybe I should pose like abah? The serious look? He thinks it looks cool on him. No comments from me. I do not want to risk him cancelling the whole idea of me having a passport.

Maybe I shouldn't look direcily into the camera? More natural that way??

OH! Maybe I should pose with my mouth open and show off my teeth like all those beautiful women in the magazines that ibu always read?? No. That will not work. I don't have any teeth to show off as yet.

*BlueeKK*

Hmmm.. I think I look quite ok here!

Yeahhh!!!

Hey world! Here I come!

A Day @ ECP

Today, ibu and abah decided to ask me along to an outing with their friends.
*phew* And I've been worried sick all week thinking they'd leave me again over the weekend like they did the previous week (you'd think I've forgotten all about that huh? So NOT!)
Anyways, it was my first time at East Coast Park.

There was Uncle Halem, Uncle Hairul, Auntie Ros, Uncle Zakie, Auntie Dian and friend friend Izz. We had to wait for Uncle Leo & Auntie Mar. WHile waiting, ibu told abah to take as many pictures as possible since it was afterall my very first picnic.

So, I had to pose and pose and pose and pose.. Soon, however.. I got bored with that. But the adults just don't get it, do they? I had no choice but to....

CRY!

It works all the time. Abah put the darn (opppss! will my ibu spank me for saying that?) camera into his pocket and carried me.

Nothing much at the beach though. Izz got to swim, and all I could do was watch him. So unfair!

After the adults got tired of swimming, they decided to head down to the airport!

Ibu told abah to take lots and lots of pictures again since it was my first visit to the airport. But abah said that I had been there before when I was still in ibu's tummy. (like that counts!apa saja...)

ANyways, that place was super cold! BRRRRRrrrrrr.....

Abah thinks its fun to have another son. Yeah rite! As if I will ever let him!

And ibu can't even cope with just me!

Especially if all abah does is to play around and not help her! I don't even know why he was holding Uncle Zakie's hand like that. He is a weird man, my father.

And he likes to butt in when others are taking photos.. *sigh* When will he ever grow up?

Auntie Dian fed me when my parents decided to M.I.A. AGAIN?!

WHich got my friend friend, Izz all jealous! Aiyaaahhh...itu pun cemburu ke?

So, thats MY weekend. How's your's??

A New Friend Found

I've got a new friend!
He is a lot smaller than all the big people.
Well, to think about it...almost everyone I know is big.
Except for Kak Naila, who is not that big.
And my friend Raoul Asyraf.

OH ok..back to my new friend.
I think he likes me. Whenever I smile at him, he will smile back at me.
ANd when I laugh, he will laugh too.
But he is a bit weird, I must say... he is doing all these actions, but there's not a single sound that comes out of his mouth!
I kept talking to him, but he never answer. So, I didn't get his name.

And HIS MOM looks just like my ibu!
Weird huh?!
What a weird weird world this is.

Home Alone

My weekend was one roller-coaster ride. Blame it all on Ibu and Abah! I must warn you though it's a longggg story.

I was brought to Tok's and Nenek's house on Friday night sometime after Maghrib. I thought, it was the usual weekend visit to Tampines and was all excited to go! Well, they really pamper in Tampines, you see. Bt then! I thought wrong!

I noticed that Ibu and Abah packed my things, bt I assumed that that's just because we are staying over for the weekend. It was after all supposedly a long weekend because of Hari Raya for the Indians.

The trouble started at around 9pm when Ibu and Abah left Tok's house without me! I cried, bt I didn't pursue it as... well... my aunties was giving me the attention and Mak Andak was doing that belai-belai tingy on my back and oh boy!... I was dozing off before I could finish being sad. Anyway, they'll be back. I knew they would, because they always do. They like to drop me off in Tampines then disappear for a few hours. I'm cool with that. As long as I get my milk and my pampering, I don't really care.

Bt I started feeling suspicious when I woke up on a Saturday morning with Mak Ngah beside me. Yes, she has slept with me before, bt Ibu usually will be the first to say Good Morning to me. Mak Ngah fed me my breakfast and even bathed me! Wait a min... where's Ibu...??? It was only in the afternoon that it finally occurred to me that my parents are not back yet! I threw tantrums of coz... ok, just a bit as I didn't think that wasting all my energy screaming will get them to understand my feelings (why are they all taking sooo long to understand what they call baby talk?! it's simple common sense, really!) and after all, like my parents can live without me. I highly doubt so, so I am guessing they are playing this hide-and-seek game without me knowing that I am in the game. Ooohhh! So fun!

Bt they kept hiding even till after maghrib and I thought that the game is fun no more!!! That was when it hit me. The inevitable truth: IBU AND ABAH HAS ABANDONED ME FOR GOOD!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Bt what did I do wrong? I've always been a good boy! You've always said that I've always been a good boy and now you left me? ME?!! Your only son! The cutest lil one ever alive! And smart too! How could you do this to me? I can't believe that this is happening to me! I'm only 2mths old, and no matter how smart I am, how am I suppose to fend myself in this big world? Haiizzz...

"Yesterday... All my trouble seems so far away..."

I started screaming and crying and kept asking Mak Ngah what happened and where are they and why me and what did I do to deserve all this and yet all she went was "ala-ala, shhhh, sayang dier.... sumer syg dier k.... i know i know... sorry k... ryan nak apa..." Is she even listening to me? I increased my tantrums level and did everything I could to show my disappointment, my anger and my sadness - and so Mak Ngah kept taking turns to carry and console me and put me to sleep. After hours of throwing tantrums, I decided to slowly accept my fate (ok actually, I got really exhausted and screaming all night long isn't as fun if I do not get what I want at last). I began to slowly doze off. Bt the stubbornness in me kept telling me "Ryan, wake up and do not admit defeat" So sometimes, I ended up jerking in my sleepiness and crying again before I slowly doze off again. The cycle went on and on till about 11pm.

I was feeling insecure and vulnerable that I got scared of the dark. I got scared everytime they put me on the bed, coz there is no saying when they will run away from me. And so I sob quietly in my sleep and guess what, my plan worked! Mak Ngah decided not to put me down and cuddle me through the night! I ended up sleeping on her for around 3 + 1 hours.

The next day, I already knew that there wasn't any Ibu or Abah. There was no use for tears. Bt nenek came to see me early in the morning, right after Mak Ngah fed me breakfast and Mak Ngah quickly asked her to bathe me so that she could sleep. Poor Mak Ngah... She must be tired and aching. I decided that in accepting my fate, I also have to accept whoever that will take care of me now. Nenek pun nenek lah, at least she pro kan when it comes to taking care of babies?

I started to panic when I keep hearing the adults talking about adoption centre. Am I going to be sent there? Though I don't really know what that means, bt its giving me bad baby vibes! And then somewhere around lunchtime, Chi'ya came. Oh-oh. Mak Ngah said that Chi'ya is my adopted mother now! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! I don't wanna sound mean, bt look at her hair!!! I did all my best to cry everytime she gets near me, hoping that she will changed her mind. Mak Ngah, pleaseee don't let me go!!! You know I love you! Bt then Tok Tan came home.

Phew! I know that big guy will save me for sure as Tok kan sayang saya... If only Tok was around earlier, he would have make sure that the 2 of them would not abandoned me! Tok quickly carried me into his room when he heard my cries. I keep quiet instantly of course and gave him my cute baby look - the one that melts his heart. He started telling me stories (which were beginning to bore me. Opps! Don't tell him I said that!) and then started to ask me questions after questions when all I was doing was not to answer him bt complain about the ill treatment I receive from my so-called parents. Obviously, this man isn't listening to me too. Bah! Who does anyway? Bt I started to get excited when Tok asked me if I wanted to learn music, sports or Silat from him. I will spite and Abah and not choose sport (plus, like Tok kan teach me Sports!) Bt this thing called Silat.... hmm... interesting... I can now fight Abah and fly like his favourite superheroes! That's sooo cool! Tell me more Tok Tan! Bt then he changed topic and I am so frustrated, I kick up a fuss again and then Tok Tan told Mak Ngah to ask my parents to take the last ferry tonight - whatever that means.

That night, Mak Ngah doze off to sleep, while I was sleeping and she never woke up. Not like she did not wake up forever bt she did not wake up to carry me to bed. Nenek did. And guess what, Nenek slept with me! I think the old lady loves me. So I decided to show her my best behaviour and the three of us slept well through the night. Except when I got hungry at 12.30 and 4.30am. Bt that's excusable. A hungry man is an angry man. I woke up at 7.30 for my breakfast and then Nenek bathed me again.

There was all this talk about when my parents will be coming home and bla, bla,bla like I care. Mak Ngah and I had a great plan - I was to show my baddest behaviour to them when they arrive. Tok kept announcing that I'd definitely merajuk. Nenek however, said I should be at my best so that my parents have no qualms about leaving me in Tampines again.

The time came. The moment Pak Busu screamed, "the car is here!" Mak Ngah quickly run to the toilet upstairs and lock it - with me in her hands. I, of course, just kept quiet to show that I approve of her actions, and continued sucking my hands - something Abah clearly disapprove of. Take that Abah! We waited and waited when finally Ibu said "Ikin must be in the toilet!" and tried to open the door! She kept knocking and said "Ikin! I know you are in there! Open the door!" Mak Ngah kept quiet and whispered to me to keep quiet too. Like I will make a noise when I'm busy enjoying my hands. After a few knocks and begging from Ibu who was saying "Give me back my son!" repeatedly, Mak Ngah said "No!" And then Ibu pleaded bt Mak Ngah refused to back down. Ibu tried calling me "Ryan! Ryan! It's me Ibu. Ibu misses you." Hah! Blueeeekkkkk ! Take that Ibu! Ibu pleaded and begged and Mak Ngah kept saying no and scolded her for abandoning me and I was just... erm... still busy sucking my hands and couldn't care for whatever that was happening in the... what?! Toilet???

After a while, Mak Ngah decided to open the door for fear that Ibu will break open the newly renovated and expensive door. (I think she really was just tired of playing hide-and-seek, like me) And so, I started to prepare myself for THE LOOK. Yes, that look which basically is I'm-nt-going-to-look-at-you-coz-u-r-inexistent-to-me look. When Ibu saw me and gave me the oh-i-miss-you-so-much look, I simply turned away. I did the same to Abah. Do they really think that I will come running and crying to them after what they did to me? Bah! I shall maintain this look for awhile.

Ok, ok, I maintain the marajuk-ing only for awhile, at least for as long as I was in Tampines, and that was for like 15mins? I really don't wanna push my luck and see what happens if I merajuk even in Bukit Batok. What if my Ibu and Abah decides to punish me by not feeding me or worse, changing my diapers!!!

Anyway, I feel satisfied now that both of them have agreed that they missed me so much that they could not enjoy their so-called-much-needed(bluekkk!) trip. They said they promise never to do this again!

Of course, who could live without me? The smartest, cutest lil tot ever!

My Little Bottom

I just got smacked at my cute baby smooth bottom.

Why?

I just pee-ed all over the dining floor.

Well, is it my fault?

Why don't you, my gentle readers (pinjam kekata Uncle Vernon ye..) be the judge?

I only wanted to remind Ibu that she SHOULD have let me worn the Wee Blocker.

Bila mahal-mahal buat apa, ye tak?

And since she STILL doesnt understand baby talk (what's taking her so long?!), there wasn't any other way that I could remind her about it.

I had no choice but to pee straight at her.

But my aiming still isn't so perfect.

It went straight to the floor.

And Abah had to mop the mess.

And my bottom was smacked.

Tell me, is it fair?

(My dear aunties at Tampines, if you are reading this.. can you please tell Tok Tan? Then we'll see whose bottoms will be on the line next!)

Suwa Suwe Kemoning

Kepada sesiapa yang membaca blog saya,

Tolong jadi saksi bahawasanya, kalau saya besar nanti dan jadi orang yang otaknya mereng..

Ianya adalah salah ibudan abah saya. Lihat saja gambar di atas ini.

Yang benar,

Ryan Iskandar